My husband is from Ecuador, his city in the mountains. There, as in other places around the world, you can visit your friends’ houses without calling beforehand! Yes, you can simply go, and as long as someone is home you will immediately be invited in for coffee or tea and bread, which lends itself to conversation and wonderful fellowship.
As a whole, Ecuadorians practice hospitality. They don’t hesitate to let others in for an unexpected visit, taking time out of their day to listen to and bless another. While in Ecuador, my husband and I made “surprise” visits to many families from our church in the evenings, and we were never turned away. How would we react to an unplanned visit?
If you live in the United States as I do, the “Ecuadorian way” may be considered by some to be downright rude and overly invasive. Yet, I believe there is much we can learn from the way they do things, and how previous generations in general used to operate.
Hospitality, why is it so hard for us to practice it? What is our excuse? I believe we are wrapped up in the unimportant, and mainly in our pride. I know it, because I give the same excuses in my head: I’m just not organized enough today, what will they think if _____ isn’t ready? Having a clean house to offer your guests is one thing, but having an immaculate house, in my estimation, is unnecessary and unattainable (especially with kids everywhere)! Give yourself some much-needed grace in how you manage and care for your home, and realize that your pride may always try to talk you out of exactly what God is asking you to do.
Sometimes the more we have, the less we give, and oftentimes we can be the ones to close off our homes as a gathering place for others. We fear judgment from those who probably need God and His abundant love the most. When I lived in Bolivia, one of the poorest countries in South America, I entered homes that were dirt floors with tin roofs, no running water or bathroom. I can’t tell you how humbled and uplifted I was to receive from those who had nothing, but gave me their everything. They knew I had more, yet they welcomed me unashamedly into their homes for food, drink, and priceless communion.
It is vital to know that The Bible calls everyone to be hospitable saying, “Share with the saints who are in need. Practice hospitality” (Romans 12:13). We learn that hospitality is not a gift for a few, but rather a command for all. This changes everything; no one is exempt if you are following God!
Hospitality is a lifestyle, not a location. Having said that, I personally have experienced the intimacy and friendship that blooms when your home IS the place for others to gather; there are many things you can do and share in the privacy and security of a home that wouldn’t happen outside of it.
So, I hope to spur you on today to practice hospitality. For me, it has meant inviting moms and their kids over for play-dates during the day, and not letting an imperfect house stop me! Is a Pinterest-worthy standard making you feel perfection so unattainable, and therefore you don’t invite and serve others, or at least not very often? I once heard that the inside appearance of your home can instantly make someone feel better or worse about themselves; if my home is messier than I would like when company comes, I remind myself of that!
Without further adieu, invite and write! Yes, share how you opened up your living space and/or life to someone recently and how you initially felt. Hospitality is crucial to growing new and old relationships. Let’s be hospitable people, and minister to others all that God has done for us!
You summed it up: if we focus on others, we will be people of hospitality, but if the focus is on ourselves our pride will prevent it. It's hard to surrender, but I long to ask God to continually keep my vision on serving OTHERS, whether things at home are tidy or in disarray!
Thank you for this post. I admit to sometimes being more concerned with the state of my house rather than with the heart of the person who is struggling or feeling lonely and might benefit from spending some time with a friend. It usually comes down to my own self-centeredness – thinking more about how people will view ME, MY house, MY children – instead of focusing on the OTHER person and how I can love and serve them by simply opening up my home.
Crystal, Yes, we would love to go caroling with you! If we get a little group of us together, we could even visit a nursing home or perhaps meet and go to the neighbors near your house! The more the merrier 🙂
Oh, may we be more simple-minded and openhearted! Living for Christ alone has made me a more hospitable person. Praise God for others who demonstrate this to us, which can spur us on to bless another too!
Beautiful thoughts on hospitality. The Torres family does this so well, whether within their own home or while visiting another home. Can we practice hospitality outside of our own homes? 🙂 I loved hearing about your experiences in Ecuador, as Phil grew up with many similar experiences. When I’ve gotten to visit Ecuador with him, I’ve also been the recipient of this special brand of pure, warm and genuine hospitality from the Ecuadoreans. I remember visiting with his good friend, and a simple breakfast of tea and a cheese-filled biscuit meant so much due to how they made us feel and knowing that they may have even sacrificed to provide that breakfast to us.
Krystal, I absolutely love that you and your family go caroling at the holidays! I've been telling Jose I wanted to find a place to go caroling with a big group or something for a few years now. I haven't been confident enough in my singing abilities to go with just us. But maybe we can tag along with you and hide behind the veteran carolers to get our feet wet! 😉
❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 thank you
Crystal, It's so funny that you buy more chairs to fill up the empty spaces! That is a sign that you have a HEART for hospitality, which is God's heart. I think you bring up a great point in bridging the cultural gap and even changing the rules here in the United States by BRINGING the bread if you go to someone else's home!
As far as getting to know your neighbors, that is something I am passionate about as well. With young children, we have to be creative with how we are reaching others. I know I want to continue to press in to Jesus and seek how I can be hospitable to our neighbors and influence them. Sometimes I want things to be "just so," but reality sets in and perfectionism can lead to paralysis.
Three or four years ago I started taking the kids around at Christmas time to carol and hand out cookies to some of our neighbors, and now it is something our kids look forward to doing as an annual tradition. This past year we didn't hand out any cookies, but we sang our hearts out, and the neighbors have been very generous to give Christmas goodies to US in return (an added bonus)! During warm weather, the kids love making lemonade stands too, which is a cute way to get the neighbors to stop by, and they ALWAYS do!
In both scenarios I gave, our children were actual the drawing card for fellowship, as there is something comforting and non-threatening when little ones are involved. May God use you to reach those in your area, as I know He is and will do!
Yes, and I'm glad you mentioned how you feel when YOU are in someone else's house, and how it's nice to go into a home that feels LIVED IN. It has reminded me that I should be careful what expectations I am placing on myself AND on my children. I have found the more I practice hospitality, the more lenient I have become with my "standard" for having guests over, in a good way! The house can be tidy, welcoming, and have normal clutter all at once!
I liked your thoughts about how whenever we enter a home we can feel better or worse about ourselves. Not to say that having a nice maintained home is bad. But when I thought about it, it rang true that I generally feel more comfortable in a place that seems lived in, especially when children live there. I appreciate the friends of mine that actually don't clean up before we come over! It's a good reminder for me to not be so worried about appearances!
Thank you Krystal and Jorge for your gracious hospitality! We have been the recipients of your warm and welcoming hospitality and it has been very encouraging for us!
I'm not a natural host but I have the desire to be. Jose is much more natural than I am. But I always want our home to be a place where the kids gather with friends and is filled with lots of love and laughter. Often I get hung up on what I perceive to be limitations on our abilities to host and my desire to have people be comfortable in our home. Jose jokes that I love having seating everywhere and I am always trying to buy more chairs to fill any empty corner I see in the house with more seating for when people are over.
We had Jose's mom over today and we were talking about cultural similarities for Puerto Ricans and Brazilians (Jose's mom's fiancee grew up in Brazil) and they would also have coffee and bread at any time of the day whenever someone would come over and they would just pop in on people and spend time together without it being a big deal. Jose's mom said that Walmart and BJs both sell Puerto Rican bread and she said it's so soft and delicious. I think Jose and I are both excited to get some of that bread and enjoy some coffee and bring some purposeful and unexpected fellowship into our lives. We'll have to bring it with us whenever we pop in on someone. 🙂 How wonderful would it be to live like this and actually have real and authentic connections with people around us!
Since I first read your post I've been thinking about our immediate neighbors and how we truly don't know the people we live right next to very well. What a wonderful opportunity to get to know people and foster a greater community bond by just opening our door and extending an invitation! Thank you for the encouragement to be more intentional with our hospitality and for living by example!
Jorge and I read your response together and he definitely wants to have a cup of coffee with you too (ASAP)! You have a heart of hospitality, dear Marcia. At this time in your life you are giving more to others outside of your home, and that counts for sure! Praise God for your sensitivity to read and for always trying to find personal application. God bless you dear sister!
Yes, I miss the Ecuadorian way too! I'm glad I married one though, and that we can have coffee every day together my dear 🙂
Krystal your blog made me reflect on how easy is to loose the gracious ability to host someone and just have a good time. As I was reading your blog I realized that I haven't being a host for a while. “Hospitality is a practice that starts with in the heart and extends itself to the world”. That is what mom used to say.
Thank you for your thoughtful blogs and tell Jorge I will be there for a cup of coffee.
I do believe on showing grace and love through giving not only material things but more important your time, genuine care and love, sharing the word of God and praying for others. When you open your home, you are opening your life and offering an space for a deeper understanding of other people's lives as well. So, having a cup of coffee involves much more than that. I missed those times. I hope to have a "cup of coffee" with any of you who are following this blog.