I have come to love and embrace the saying, “Less IS more.” I never knew exactly what that meant completely until I came to experience so much busyness as a mother, wife, friend, daughter, person, that I had to find a better way to survive and THRIVE.
LESS is MORE means saying NO to many GOOD things. NO to a mom’s group that I had served in for years and wished I could continue in many senses. NO to extra-curricular commitments and activities that initially seem exciting until you are living and breathing the day-to-day of the burdensome schedule. Having four kids in four years did it for me. It forced ME to SLOW DOWN and do LESS.
Because I’m the one that would have been doing a million things, and then after two weeks I’d be completely overwhelmed and unfulfilled! Every family is different for sure, and sometimes it can be fun to “fill your schedule up.” However, a pastor at our church reminded us that if you leave no room for unexpected encounters and natural ministry to others, let alone your children, maybe some of those “good things” need to go. I can tell you first-hand that enjoying evenings with my family, and having the freedom to be hospitable to others with a more open schedule is wonderful and invaluable.
So, whether you are a mother or not, sometimes we have to re-visit our schedules and ask why we are involved in the things we are. Refreshment can come only if we give it to ourselves. Doing less doesn’t mean you’re not doing; it means you are doing what is most important and necessary at this stage in your life.
LESS is MORE. Live it!
Well said, and I am glad to hear that you have learned this first-hand and are comfortable with saying YES and NO when needed! God has brought you into a new season now with your children growing, and I see how you are able to do more than you did in the past outside the home. Contentment with the season we are in is key!
Ever since learning about the idea of margin at a Bible study several years ago, I've felt the freedom to say no without feeling guilty when it used to be huge a struggle for me to do so, especially to "good" things. I once heard someone say that God created us as human beings, not human doings. And yet we put a lot of – probably too much – stock into what we do and accomplish instead of who we are and who we are becoming. I want my children to know that as well, that who they are in Christ is most important, and I also want to demonstrate for my children that it's important to ask God where it is that He wants us to spend our time and energy.
Thank you for sharing this experience with Sienna with honesty. It reminded me of some advice another mom gave me, who has four children now grown. She stated, "Backyard baseball is better than baseball leagues when they are young." The funny thing is, she followed her own advice and now her son is in college on a baseball scholarship! This proves that many skills can be developed informally at home or by playing outside with family and friends. It also reinforces what you said, that they are only little for so long, and what children crave most is a sense of belonging. Sienna knows she belongs at home first and foremost, with those who love and care for her most!
Krystal you are always speaking directly to my circumstances it seems. Perhaps it is because we both are in the same stage with 4 kids of similar ages. We also share your less is more philosophy. For us, our oldest child, Sienna has really been the reason we haven't been overly committed in after school activities. I admit I was the mom trying to live through her child a bit as I never took dancing classes growing up but had always wished I did. So last year I wanted to have Sienna take dance classes, especially also because she's always dancing around the house. But despite my encouragement and frequent asking, she continually has said, "no that's okay mom. I'll just dance at home.". So I thought okay, maybe dancing isn't her thing, so I thought maybe she would want to play softball, and when I asked her if she wanted to she was excited and Said, "You mean in the backyard right?". And I said no with other little girls and she said no. And I wondered why I'm trying to force this do much? I think it's the greater culture we live in sort of influencing me making me think she might miss out on some experience, when all she really wants is to be together with her family.
So we've focused even more on doing things as a family. Whether it's playing outside together or learning something all together or playing family games or doing a family devotional. They are only going to be little for so long and they might not always want to do stuff with the whole family (although I'm hoping and praying we always have a close bond), so I don't need to push them to do things away from the family if they don't want to. Instead I'm focusing on enjoying the time as a family.
❤️❤️🙏🏼
I get lost in my "to do list" too! Yes, and without clear, measurable goals for each day we will miss our ultimate desires and goals. Thanks for commenting dear Marcia! You are always an inspiration.
As time goes on and life keeps advancing it is so easy to get lost in the “to do list” that we have created. I personally have lost focus on my priorities and what matters many times. Thank you Krystal for this inspirational post. It made me aware that every day we need to focus on what matters.
Yes, the word "margins" is the exact wording our pastor used. Having more kids is definitely a great way to remember that our old lifestyle needs to collide with our "new normal" of raising a family! I have found that doing less really means I am doing a lot more of what I love, and quality time with my family and loved ones is a big part of the ministry I know I'm called to. Thank you so much for commenting. Keep them coming!
I remember someone once talking about how important it is to leave room for margins in your life (like in the pages of a book). You don't want them too large or too small. It is always an act of balance but I agree with each addition to your family you are forced to simplify!